Chapter Six: The Entrapment
Kim felt like the Unification of Evil Ceremony had gone
on forever. She would check the clock every so often to know how long the
stupidity went for. When she glanced at it for the gazillionth time, she was discouraged
to see that only half an hour had passed. I’m being punished, I just know
it!
Perry wasn’t any more comfortable than she was in his
flimsy Lloyd Wexler disguise. It was obvious he was a platypus in a wig with
glasses and a fake mustache, yet none of the evil scientists in attendance paid
it any mind. If anything, they were more attentive to the festivities. For a
bunch of evil geniuses, they were really dense.
The night got weirder when the karaoke contest started,
with the winner only receiving unlimited bragging rights.
“Whose lame idea was this?” Kim found herself wondering
aloud.
“Why, it was yours, Heinz,” Roddenstein told her.
“What’s wrong? Is that brain of yours shrinking in your old age?” He was really
getting under Kim’s skin – or Doofenshmirtz’s skin, more like it.
While Dr. Diminutive serenaded the crowd with his abysmal
rendition of “Everybody Wants to Rule the World,” Kim was approached by Vanessa
again. “I know you’re not my dad,” she revealed to her. “Who are you really?”
“Don’t say anything.” Hearing his voice in her earpiece,
Kim completely forgot Luther had been listening in with Wade, who followed by
adding, “She is a Doofenshmirtz after all. There’s no telling if she can
be trusted or not.”
She initially followed their advice, just standing and
staring at Vanessa. She imagined how stupidly awkward she looked while doing it
with Doofenshmirtz’s face. That awkwardness motivated Kim to change her mind
not a second later and tell Vanessa the truth.
“You’re right…I’m not your father.” She could hear
Wade and Luther groaning after the fact. “My name is Kim Possible, and I’m a
spy. This is a disguise – a very lifelike and uncomfortable disguise –
that I’m wearing.” She tugged on latex skin of her right cheek for emphasis,
stretching it to unearthly proportions.
“Freaky,” Vanessa smirked. Her amusement turned to
concern as she considered, “Wait. Is my dad in danger? I mean, I know he’s evil
– that’s his whole thing – but he’s still my dad. I haven’t heard or seen of
him in a week. Is that why you’re wearing his face? Because he’s missing and
you’re trying to find out what happened to him?”
Kim didn’t know what else to tell her, and she couldn’t
count on any assistance from Luther or Wade after she decided to go rogue. She
was spared just as Dr. Diminutive’s performance ended and Roddenstein appeared
onstage to mockingly challenge Kim, “Let’s see you grace us with your
astounding pipes, Heinz.”
It was a clear invitation for Kim to embarrass herself
with Doofenshmirtz’s horrifying voice. Even Wade recommended, “Don’t give into
it, Kim. He’s just baiting you.” However, not all of Wade’s instruction made it
through communications. His voice scrambled in and out through Kim’s earpiece.
She didn’t have a chance to ponder on what was causing
it, with Roddenstein continuing to press her. Refusing to allow him to make a
fool out of her/Doofenshmirtz any longer, she leapt onto the karaoke stage with
a cartwheel that transitioned into a backflip. It was the second instance of
the sudden inherited prowess “Heinz Doofenshmirtz” showcased that evening.
Snatching the microphone from Roddenstein, Kim waited as
he arranged DJ Eggsy to play the song he chose – something he knew Kim wouldn’t
be able to keep up with Heinz’s voice. She couldn’t believe her ears when “Say
the Word” blared through the stage speakers. It was a tune Kim was
well-acquainted with, being the one who first sang it at her school’s talent
show, sometime ago. Somehow, it got around the airwaves and now came back on
Kim in another shameful setting.
Only now, it wasn’t entirely Kim singing it…
I’m on it, I’ve got it
I can do anything
What you need, got your back
Just say the word, I’m there
If you find your world is cavin’ in,
you can bet you’re gonna need a friend
Someone to take those fears away
Doof’s scratchy voice was unable to carry the tune,
hurting Kim’s throat and creating feedback on the microphone. It was just as
agonizing to the ears of those in attendance. Beneath the mask, Kim’s face
reddened in embarrassment and anger, the latter of which fueled from seeing
Roddenstein’s grin of satisfaction.
Determined, she used that anger to push through the voice
modulator; her naturally powerful decibels short-circuiting the strip on her
throat. Suddenly, it was the voice of Kim Possible singing out through the
“mouth” of Heinz Doofenshmirtz…
In trouble, in it deep,
This is a promise that I can keep!
Make it right, count on me
to be the best friend I can be!
When your life is bending
upside down!
I’ll be the one to turn it around!
Say the word
Make a call and I’ll be there
Anytime, anywhere
Have you heard
that I’m all about savin’ your world?
All you have to do is say the word!
Following the performance, there was utter silence.
Everyone from Roddenstein to Vanessa and even Perry stood in bewilderment by
the sudden voice change. Kim knew she had completely blown her cover, staring
on all the dumbfounded faces that were staring back at her own.
And then she heard one person clapping in the back.
Everyone looked to the applauding attendee, shocked to
see that it was Ernst Blofeld. “Very impressive performance, Dr.
Doofenshmirtz,” Blofeld said. “Or should I refer to you by your actual name:
Kim Possible?”
Something grabbed Kim from behind and her mask was
abruptly removed, revealing her real face. Looking behind her, she saw a large,
muscled Filipino man in a suit – the one that had her restrained by a massive
arm while the other held the Doofenshmirtz mask. This man was soon kicked in
the face by Perry, who discarded his Lloyd Wexler disguise to rescue her. His
ambush forced the man to release Kim and allow her to flee to the nearest exit
with her platypus ally. Unfortunately, Dr. Diminutive used a ray machine that
fired directly on Perry, knocking him out.
Kim attempted to carry him in her desperate escape, only
to be thwarted by the Filipino man, who knocked her out the old-fashioned way –
clubbing her in the back of the head.
“Well done, Mr. Hinx,” Blofeld approved of his personal
assassin.
“Hey, what about me?” Dr. Diminutive bellowed from atop
his ray machine. “I knocked out the platypus!” Alas, Blofeld merely gave him –
and the other evil scientists gathered in the room – with a look of contempt.
He and Mr. Hinx subsequently departed with the
unconscious Kim and Perry.
DJ Eggsy watched them, the only disconcerted one in a sea
of malevolent faces.
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